The All -nighter

The other day after yet another one of these babys (I think this semester there have been 5.)
I realized, while being scolded by my roommate, that I have mastered this process. High school taught me a lot of things, one of them being that the night is not nearly as long as you think it is. I have been working on this perfect formula for a hellish night for almost 4 years now and think it's ready to be shared.


First of all I would like to mention that an all-nighter is a tool, not a toy. There was a group of people I know who stayed up all night the week before finals for fun...just don't be that kid. Use only when absolutely needed and with an understanding of the costs and consequences. Extreme limit: 2 in one week.

Step 1. Coffee
Here's the thing, although we all wish to be super human, a nice kick start early in the evening without end is a cup o'Joe.

Step 2. Water
This step is little known but highly important. At about 1 am stop drinking coffee and stop eating junk food, at this point drink and drink and drink water. I swear you will feel less like a zombie for it later and in the mean time you will have to get up and pee so often that there is no way to fall asleep on accident.

Step 3. Shower
Not sure what sicko thinks that it's ok to not shower when pulling an all-nighter. "I didn't go to bed" is not even close to an excuse. Shower. But don't just shower at any time, shower at the time when you MOST want to crack and climb into your bed. For me this is between 5 and 6 am. I am thinking, "no way can I live through this whole day" at that point, take a hot shower, and get dressed, you feel almost like a person again and in your pretend world a new day has officially started.

Step 4. Dress for success
yupp I did use that obnoxious line. But seriously, put something shnazzy on and rock it. Use superficiality to your benefit and hide the bloodshot eyes and dark circles under them.
2 reasons here. 1. You feel better when you look good.
2. When you look amazing no one notices that you look like you have just gone to hell and back.
I kid you not I get more compliments on these days than any other day. No one has come up to me and said "wow you look haggard." but I have gotten a whole lot of "wow you look great today."  "looks like someone is having a good day"...etc

Step 5. Coffee
Fuel your day, but use caution and moderation.

Step 6. Nap
GO. TO. BED.
seriously take a nap for your own sake and the sake of those around you, tired people do and say STUPID things. Finish and turn in whatever you stayed up all night in order to do and then with grace and dignity put yourself to bed and take a good nap.

I usually end these babys with early morning Mass and some breakfast to kick start my day. laugh a lot and try not to go around telling people. It makes you into a victim and self-pity is not what you need.